Again sorry for the long time between posts. I’ve been busy and actually sleeping, imagine that. Anyway, as it is the night before election day, I can’t sleep and remembered that The Perfect Imp left me a comment a while back. Anyway, enough of me rambling on about things that don’t matter, on to the show.

The Perfect Imp wrote:

“I do think the pursuit of a “perfect” other, though, is a crap shoot at best. I think instead the need may be to change one’s own perception of what is perfection to include a healthy dash of realism. After all, we know when we look at ourselves honestly that we are nowhere near perfection – so how can we even subconsciously demand that of our partner, in friendship or more?”

After pondering this for a few minutes I understand what you are saying. Perfection is not easy to come by in any form. The perfect apple will always have something wrong with it, the perfect picture will always have a flaw in the background or on the microscopic level. However, I am a believer that perfection is in the eyes of the beholder. Much like what one finds beautiful, another may not, what one person finds to be perfect, another may not. For example, I think my girlfriend is the perfect person in the world for me. However for you, she may not be perfect. It’s all about perception.

Now for some people, this perception of perfection may be a little bit beyond what is actually possible. When this is the case, yes, I do believe that it would be needed to realistically re-assess what it is that you like in a significant other. In the next couple of weeks, I’ll post my the way that I personally created to assess potential love interests and help determine who is the best for you. Hopefully it will help both you, Perfect Imp, and others find out exactly what it is that makes a girl perfect to you, and help add a dash of realism into the folds of what you look for in both a romantic relationship and just a simple friendship. I myself have used it in the past quite a few times to determine where I felt I was at with friends of mine.

Forgetting lost loves

First off I would like to apologize for how long it has been since I last posted. I got busy, then had a little bit of writers block, then was on vacation. Now that I’m back I shall continue where I left off.

A recent comment from PerfectImp has brought me to think recently about how to forget about people that you once loved. We all want to do something like this at one point in our life, however, no matter what that person has done, we usually can’t seem to find a way to do it. The best way I can figure it to just move on. It won’t be easy, but overall, if you move on to bigger and better things you will eventually forget about the person. There will be times where you will remember them, but that is part of life. My suggestion is to go out to the places that you like to go with friends. Go to the bars or pubs, go to some concerts, or wherever else it might be that you like to meet people. Eventually you will find someone that will meet your liking. Don’t be afraid to express your true self. As a radio show I listen to once said, “If you love the muppets, go out there and buy yourself a muppet shirt, and wear it. Eventually a girl will come up to you and say ‘I love that too!’ and things will go from there.” I guess what I’m trying to say with all of this is that finding another person is the best way to forget about the person you are trying to forget. You can never fully forget someone, such as your first kiss, no matter how horrible it may have been, you will never forget it. Lose track of the memory yes, but forget it, not unless you have amnesia. I hope this has helped you out, PerfectImp, even though it has been a little bit slow in response and has also been a little bit vague in what to do. The truth is that this is a hard topic to try and cover, yet it is one that most everyone will experience. I will continue to ponder this idea and come up with a better way. Until then, get out there and find yourself a person that is in your mind, better than the person you are trying to forget.

Re-kindling Relationships

Here’s a response to a reader named Don. Below I have included the comment he left on a previous post of mine. If anyone has questions for me please feel free to ask, and I will answer them in a timely manor in the order received.

This so answers a question I’ve had…

But here’s one for you, too. What if you had a relationship, lost it, and then tried to come together again? Should you approach it with any expectations? Or should you not even approach it at all – just make hex signs and treat it like spoiled milk?

Appreciate your thoughts…
Don

Well Don, I’m glad you asked this question. In my opinion it depends on how the relationship was left when things ended. Some people have the mindset that if it didn’t work before then it won’t work again, while others think that after some time things will have changed for the better. If you do try to approach re-kindling the relationship I wouldn’t suggest going into it expecting things to go right back to how they were. Talk it over with your former significant other as to how you both feel about the situation. It is possible that things could go back to how they were, but highly unlikely. The relationship ended for a reason, and chances are that reason isn’t an easy one to fix, but it could be that it was just a communication problem that has been fixed or that it was something small that caused the relationship to end. As we grow older we become more tolerant of small things that used to set us off real easily. You and your significant other may find that those small little quirks that we all have may not be as bad as you once thought. As for not approaching it at all, I’m not sure if I agree with that idea either, not completely at least. If it is your former significant other that is looking to bring the relationship back, you should consider what exactly went wrong last time. If it was your fault that the relationship started to deteriorate or if it was there fault, or even if it was a combination of both. It would also be wise to consider what your friends and family may think about this situation as well, as it isn’t the sole responsibility of the two parties involved directly with the relationship as to if it succeeds or not. If it is yourself that is looking to re-kindle this relationship you should consider many of the same things, but take a little bit longer to consider what your former significant other might think about the situation. The last thing I would personally want to do if put in this position is make things awkward between my former significant other and myself, especially if we are still friends. A good way to avoid awkwardness is to just talk it over with them and find out their opinion on the situation. Make sure that during this talk you are sure to express your feelings as well, that way if they feel the same way or differently they at least are on the same page as you when it comes to information.

I hope this answered your question, and if it hasn’t please let me know. I’ll try to be more specific and help you out a little bit better.

As for everyone else, and Don, if you have any questions please feel free to ask them. I will gladly answer any and all questions I receive and I will be sure to answer them in a timely manor. (Also, if you would prefer me to answer them privately, please indicate so in your message.)